A: It wasn't very clever.
B: I so often find myself being much more sappy when he's gone, i.e. this post.
|Isn't he handsome? :)|
Religion: Lover of Jesus
Major: Business Management
Profession: SIU Men's Basketball Manager/Boyfriend of Stephanie
I was always against those super fast relationships where you "fall in love" in like a month of dating, and talk about the future, and rush into everything, simply because you are in complete and total puppy love.
But then, Ray came into the picture.
When I met him last Spring at a brunch and found out he and I were moving next door to each other come June, I had no idea that I was actually talking to the man who would complete steal my heart.
First thoughts of him:
That special something: Yes. Hearing him talk about coaching kid's basketball at the SIU summer camps totally melted my heart. But there was no way I was telling him that!
Fast forward to the summer.
We moved in on the same day, and my friend Justin and I helped him unload his U-hall.
July came and rolled around with me only seeing him once as he was walking. I ended up giving him a ride.
August: He was walking by outside, and I invited him in to watch Castle with a bunch of us.
It has been history in the making ever since.
From August until October I was so blind to the idea that maybe this guy liked me. I somehow never noticed the fact that he as ALWAYS over here. Texted me quite often. Helped me beyond measure getting ready for homecoming. Came over to sit by me at every football game. You know? Mega signs that should say, "Hey, dummy. This guy is interested."
It wasn't until right before homecoming weekend that I thought, "Hmm. There might be something here." Thanks to Steve S., five of us ended up at a haunted house. The max to go in at a time was three. Let's think this through. There was no way in HECK i was going in alone. That left me with Stevie Wonder leading the way and Ray protecting me from any lurking monsters. It was while inside that the little billboard popped up. Ray wasn't just protecting me from monsters. Ray was protecting me from monsters. I had this gut wrenching moment of "I'm safe."
And what did I do? I tried to ignore it.
Lot's of other things happened in the coming weeks that led to a roller coster of emotions. The return of a summer fling. The loss of homecoming queen. Figuring out that I chased douchebags. A whole lot of mess.
But then on October 29th. My life changed.
I had decided that week that I was done chasing. From now on, I was earnestly giving my love life to Jesus. I was never going to find "the one" if I was the one looking. Because I was looking out of fear. Fear that I would never have someone to truly love me. So I'd try every option until finally something clicked.
I digress. October 29th.
I am sitting at work and this random guy leaves his number on the counter for me. Now take note, this has never, ever happened in my life. I was in complete and total shock. So when Ray came to visit me at work, I shared this information. Still ignoring the ever growing billboard that says, "Moron. Take a look at this guy!"
Little did I know that this tidbit of information would be the pushing point for Ray to ask me out.
My response: Oh man. I'm really sorry, Ray. But I can't. I have this tendency to chase douchebags. And I really just need some time to not be a chaser. Someday someone is going to love me because I'm crazy. Not in spite of it.
(Yes. I know. AWFUL response.... But I was coming off the whole roller coaster remember?)
His response: *grabs hands, gives light squeeze* You, are not crazy. You're emotionally expressive.
Little did I know at that moment when my heart began to fall, it wouldn't stop.
Now obviously, since that moment things have changed. Ray and I proceeded to spend pretty much every day together, and it was after a few weeks, the 16th of November, that we decided to pick a date that we started "dating." (Our anniversary is the 5th, by the way. It has a super sappy story why too, just in case you are wondering.)
And boy am I ever so glad that it happened.